My journey to becoming Snowie
Snowie
"Bloody hell, is that grey?" I remember staring at my beard in disbelief one morning, discovering my first grey hair. That moment of realisation seems laughable now, but it sparked something unexpected— Snowie, Cubbie & Co.'s newest character.
Snowie is a white-furred bear with a warm smile and eyes that sparkle with mischief. But he's more than just another character—he's become my furry reflection, capturing who I am and who I'm becoming.
The journey from surprise to acceptance wasn't instant. That first grey hair felt like a countdown timer on my gay life had suddenly appeared. In our youth-obsessed culture, ageing can feel like you're slowly becoming invisible. But here's the thing about becoming a 'Polar Bear'—it's rather magnificent.
Rich’s (OG Cubbie) in his Otter days in Leicester, 1999
When I look at Snowie, I see my whole story. His eyes carry the memories of that determined otter who packed his bags for Leicester in 1997, ready to take on the world. Yet they also hold the quiet confidence that comes from surviving life's adventures—good and bad.
Creating Snowie has been like writing a love letter to my older self. Each stroke of white fur represents another lesson learned, another story earned. Some nights, when I'm questioning whether I still belong at a bear bar (yes, even I have these doubts), Snowie reminds me that there's no expiration date on being part of our community.
He's not perfect, and neither am I. Sometimes, he's cool. Other times, he's goofy—just like his creator. These contradictions make him real. His expression carries the weight of countless nights out, heart-to-hearts over glasses of wine, tender moments of connection, and, yes, those inevitable ageing anxieties we all face.
Expressing Snowie's emotions. (left to right: cool, happy, goofy)
What started as a personal journey has become something bigger. Through Snowie, I've discovered that becoming a 'Polar Bear' isn't about fading into the background but stepping into a new role. It's about being that supportive presence I wished for when I was a wide-eyed 18-year-old stepping into my first gay bar.
Every grey hair, every laugh line, every bit of extra padding—they're all part of the journey. Through Snowie, I've learnt to celebrate these changes, seeing how each stage of life brings its own kind of beauty. He's become more than just my reflection. He's a reminder that our community has space for everyone, whether you're a Cub, Otter, Bear, or anyone in between.
After all, isn't that what our community is about? Creating space for everyone to belong, regardless of their fur colour
