National Coming Out Day: Rich’s story
Rich (OG Cubbie) at Bristol Pride, 2024
National Coming Out Day is celebrated annually on 11 October, and as a proud gay bear, it holds a special place in my heart. For me, this day is more than just a single event. It's a celebration of my ongoing journey of living authentically.
I've learned that coming out is more than just a one-time event. It's a lifelong process. Every time I correct an assumption or introduce my husband, I come out again. For me, being out is more than just who I am. It's a political act. In a world where a vocal minority seeks to push us back into the closet, I believe being visible is more important than ever.
My coming out story wasn't a planned event but an accidental revelation to my parents. It was a pivotal moment that led me to leave home and start a new life in Bristol with the help of my best friend, Phil. This experience shaped who I am today, cementing my core values of honesty, openness and acceptance.
Over the years, my experience of coming out has evolved. I'm no longer that inexperienced teenager who first came out to his friends. Now, I see my queerness as a source of strength. The sense of belonging I felt when my friends accepted me has transformed into my determination to stand with my LGBTQ+ family.
Rich’s (OG Cubbie) in his Cub days in Leicester, 1999
For me, National Coming Out Day is an act of hope and visibility. It reminds me that we're here, we're real, and we're not going back into the shadows. In this political climate where LGBTQ+ rights have become a way of scoring points, I feel the weight of such debates. Even now, I sometimes feel unsafe holding my husband's hand in public outside of events like Pride or Bear Week.
To anyone struggling with coming out, I want you to know: there's no handbook, no right way to do it. It's your journey, on your terms, in your time. When you come out is for you—not for others to decide. It's one of the few acts we, as queer people, should control. And whilst it might feel daunting, I promise it gets easier.
Coming out allows you to grow, to connect, to find yourself and your chosen family. It's like stepping out of a dark, cramped closet into a world full of light and possibility. I remember when I was in the closet, feeling stuck, disconnected from the world around me, isolated and lonely.
As long as being LGBTQ+ is viewed as different or wrong, I believe National Coming Out Day will remain relevant. For me, it's not just about individual stories—it's about our collective visibility and solidarity. It's about showing the world that I'm here, I'm proud, and I'm not going anywhere.
So, this National Coming Out Day, I want you to remember that you matter, whether you're out, closeted, or somewhere in between. Your story matters. And I, along with our whole community, am here to support you every step of the way.
